Reputible Plastic Surgeon weighs in on 5 counts of 'warped self-image'

On count one:  Sausage arms

Patient is On Crack.  There is little to no fat to sucketh.

On count two:  Weak Chin

So I could use a little chin implant....I think I'll pass.  He lost me after he mentioned the potential danger that the implant SHIFTS.  God forbid I ever fall on my face (and I have been known to break a toe or two just WALKING), and the next thing I know I have a prosthetic chin protruding out my cheek.  Eh, Ill take my weak little pointy chin.

On count three:  The  Valley created by my brows constant state of furrow. 

And I quote..."Yeah, you are kind of young to have those lines".  I TOLD YOU PEOPLE!!!!!! I told him I wanted a permanent solution.  He recommended snipping my frown muscle.   This would mean I would NEVER EVER be able to show anger, disappointment, confusions, sadness or pain ever again.  That is VERY WEIRD.   Or Botox.  And it's not as expensive as I thought it was.  In fact, their office even has 'BOTOX DAYS'...oh yes, when they schedule mass amounts of people on particular days to get the botox at a discounted rate.  The theory is that not every patient needs a whole syringe...so this way they schedule lots of patients, and use ALL the botox.  I will be getting some botox for the Wedding.  Just for the wedding.  After that I will learn to love my lines.  Or I'll become addicted to botox...

On count four:  Back Fat.  You know what I'm talking about...the 'love handles'.  The fat that attaches itself to the backside of your waist and turns into something completely undeterred by all the diet and exercise in the world. 

He said there was not much there, but that because it was so little he could do it in office just with a local.  Hmmmmm....

And they really get you with the lipo.  The first 'area' is 2,000.  Any additional area is only $500. 

All in all, they handed me an estimate for 7,000 worth of plastic surgery.  Wow.  So I think I'll quit bitching about my arms.  Now that I've had a professional tell me that I have little fat there to begin with...now I can just say 'I have thick arms'.  Not fat arms. 

When I was in the waiting room, there was a table full of implants.  I was fascinated.  I've seen them a million times on tv, but never REAL LIVE ONES!  I wanted to play with them....and fantasize about perfectly perky full C cups.  I think if I hadn't gotten out of there when I did, I might have had him dry fitting me for salt water boobies.