"It's the principality of the thang"

Dear Dumbass in Charge of Company Policy,

Last night I went to Target with my mother in law, Vernie.  We oohhed and ahhhed over all your 'cute' clothes, we couldn't believe those fabulous towels were on sale for 8.99, we scored our favorite make up and even a candle or two.  And then, I went in search of a perfect fit new bra!  Because you are Target, and because you have such great selections I knew I would find a match.  I spent at least 15 mins in great dialouge with Vern as we approached each bra rack and debated over lace vs plain, padding vs no padding, racer back vs regular.  etc etc.  I finally narrowed my selections down to 5 bras, convinced that among them was THE ONE!  Now it was time for the test drive!

We made our way over to the fitting rooms where we were greeted by a friendly woman who told me I could only take 6 items in.  Great!  I had 6 to be exact.  I was so excited!!  Then as I am walking away the lady says to me 'Just make sure you keep YOUR bra on when you try on those'.  HUH?  Okay, I'm sorry.  Now I can understand you not wanting cooch juice on your panties, no one likes to buy crusty thongs....and that's okay because i can get a pretty good sense of whether those panties will fit over my own.  BUT A BRA???  When I asked the woman to explain, she told me it was 'company policy', that when you try on a bra WITHOUT anything underneath your perfume can get on the bra, and customers don't like that.  OMG.  You can't be serious Target?  And OBVIOUSLY a woman had nothing to do with this company policy. Because anyone with HALF A FUCKING BRAIN would know that a bra is not a pair of underwear.  A bra holds boobies.  It has to support, it has to feel comfortable, it has FORM TO YOUR BOOBY....and how the hell does one know if the bra fits your booby when you have another bra on????  AND GOD FORBID you are a padded kinda girl, looking to go SHEER and you happen to have worn one of your padded bras to Target...oh that will work out great!

Target, this is very dissapointing.  And I am starting a boycott on your bras. I am putting this letter on my blog, which is very popular, and you will see what a grievous mistake you have made.  I may never look at you the same...

Sincerely

I Don't Need Your Fucking Bra Anyway!

Comments

[Jessica]

LOL! Oh boy, it really makes me wonder how some people survive in this world.

[Hill]

Um...why the fuck would you buy a bra from Target? Have I not FULLY supplied you for the rest of your natural life, with undergarments over the last few Christmases?!?!?!

Im just saying.

[T]

While i sympathize with the bra issure, i find the title estremely humorous.
And whats with the butt leanining episode yesterday?
You rest on your non-existing butt???
This you must show/explain later.

[kat]

i apologize but i can not join your target bra boycott. i'm all about boycotts myself these days so my list is a little long...and mostly because of political affiliations. you can check out who you should boycott too at www.buyblue.org. it will open your eyes...and make you very sad.

[stella]

Queen of bra and panties,

I regret to inform you that 'the boy' is not so much a fan of the implanted bras you have so graciously filled my lingerie drawer with (who are we kidding...they are on the fucking floor)...and while they are all very pretty indeed, they are not delivering the COME HERE NAUGHTY BOY punch one hopes to convey when they are stripping down to those bare essentials. See, you forget, I'm with Nature Valley now...he likes me 'natural'...the added cup sizes freak him out. You know...I am trying to reconnect with my earthen self. Haven't we been thru this before??? Will you ever accept that I have long left my booty ass rumpin big ol fake tittied you better back that ass up girl in tallahassee, florida???

[Cornholio]

See, if you were half of an A cup like me, you'd never have to try on a bra because any old A cup would do. Soon, you will be in my shoes.....you will have traded in your C cups for A cups as you breastfed your kids for 2+ years because you just KNEW it would make their immune systems better. You just KNEW you were going to be the BEST mother Ever. Soon, after you have kids, your nipples will resemble the insides of their mouths, they'll be googly eyed (your nipples, not your kids) and you'll wish your biggest worry was lace or satin. If your lucky, like me, you will then look like the caucasion version of a cover of National Geographic. With the blink of an eye, you will swap your current concerns for tucked asses and good fitting bra's into sore cracked nipples and episiotomy stitches. And you'll realize more and more everyday how many of the Rules are made by people who don't grow humans inside of their body's, or pay homage to those of us who do. Now would you please help me set up my own blog so I can leave yours alone;)

[AinH]

What would they propose I do? I rarely wear a bra in the first place, so would i have to try them on over my shirt? I hope you just went ahead and tried them on the normal way and ignored the policy. I mean, are they really going to check up on you?

[Hill]

Fine...fine. But bitch not about the cleavage, dearest, for the secret was revealed to you many MANY a time...

Oh, and seriously, I get the whole "au naturale" thing, but undue (ie NOT at a club, or other outlet for blatant sexual behavior) nipple exposure is totally gross. I know when it's cold. No need to "point" it out.

Lining, girl. Trust me.

[Hill]

Oh, and as for the "...left that booty ass...(laughing too much to replicate description)...girl in Florida?"

NO DAMNIT!!! SHE'S STILL LURKING IN THERE SOMEWHERE < I KNOW IT!!!

And besides, that's the "Stella" with whom I (and FINANCE, for that matter) first fell in love with...

Fucking Birkenstocks...

=)

[Cornholio]

my buddy j. says that you need to take your own saran wrap to try them on.

[lysie6211]

I've tried bras on in Target and they have never told me that!