Finding Zen

Lindsey Mitchell: Bride To Be - Badass

It's that time again.  My new renter is Lindsey Mitchell.  I chose her because I have actually been reading her blog on and off since she 'came on the scene', and I think she's a pistol.  And I love Canada.  Although...I've never been to Canada, but I hear they aren't to fond of 'W'. Despite my earlier comment about the 'damn cannucks' who REnamed my golden retriever GORD.  I won't hold that against you Lindsey. 

She's not afraid to use the word poop (see? I'm not alone, you people just need to get over it already) and she makes good use of the word fuck.  Sidenote - all these blogger chicks coming over here to Zen...are WAY HOT.  I must be a 'babe magnet'.  It's all for you Edge (Lindsey, Edge is the resident 'old guy' ~ be careful though, he'll lick and SPANK you with his words quicker than you can say 'come again?').

Zenpeople.  Go hang out with Lindsey while I am kicking back TA-KEEL-A shots and throwing beer bottles against the wall at a cantina in MEH-HICO....and siesta'ing.  Or is it...Fiesta'ing?  I imagine I will do both fiesta, and siesta.  Or is it...LUNESTA?  No, thems my drugs.

I'll be in touch.  WELCOME LINDSEY MITCHELL BAD ASS BRIDE TO BE!

When in Mexico, Do As The Mexicans?

Oh yeah baby.  T-Minus 24 hours and I will be en el avión a México!  Here is a portion of the email I received from Vern who is already in San Miguel, where we will be joining them for a long weekend.

Need a friend to shop with...Buck is only interested in reading the paper and speaking Spanish...all of which I can only do for a few minutes.  The weather is beautiful...sunny and warm.  There are great places to eat...and drink.  There is a festival the night you arrive.  We have asked Margarita to make a nice lunch for you when you arrive and then we can nap...walk into town for drinks and the festival that evening.

Eat.  Drink.  Margaritas made by Margarita?  AWESOME.  I have never been out of the country folks.  And it has been in the 40's and raining here in Atlanta.  And, work has been sucking my ass.  AND there is someone out there who has got a checkbook or two of mine and is writing mad checks in my name, and people are obviously accepting them without identification.  Bastards.  So I need a effing break. 

I have been feeling completely uninspired to write about anything lately.  I need one of ya'll to spark a debate.  I know Jayne you have had something going on over in your corner of the cyberworld...but I just couldn't touch that.  I haven't had enough personal experience with that one.  Edge,  Jess, Jen, Jayne, TB, Hill, CM, AinH, Lysie, Jessica, Ted, Melissa, Kat, Pbutt, V, TW, DB, Karen, Adena, Crazylikeafox, Weirdgirl....let's sink our teeth into something good today?  I hereby declare comments today as an open forum to 'shoot the shit' amongst ourselves.  And if you haven't ever said hello before...then poke your head in and introduce yourself.  You don't even have to tell us where you live and what your favorite color is.

Today is Open Discussion Day.  Are you down with ODD?  You may have 'the floor'. 

Auntie Stella

This is my blog friend Ted's son Liam.  I am in love with Liam.  Ted blogs about Liam and the Seahawks.  And Chevy Chase films.  He posts lots and lots of pictures of Liam and knows that in doing so, he probably loses a lot of general blog interest.  And he doesn't give a shit.  And really, who would...when you have a kid that looks like this...

 

Ted.  Does Liam have a Godmother?  How about a Cyberauntie?  A...how can you possibly look at this face, and say you don't want children?  PRECIOUS PRECIOUS!!! 

'The time was six o'clock...

...on the swatch watch, no time to chill, got a date, can't be late...HEY!  The girl's gonna do me....move, to the jacuzzi...oooo that booty, smack it up flip it, rub it down, OH NO!  Do me baby...'

Oh whatever, you knew those words as well as you do Ice Ice Baby.  You ain't gots to lie Craig.  You ain't gots to lie...

SO!  How was everyones weekend?  Good?  Wonderful.  Finance and I felt like we were on a 3 day flip it HGTV show.  We busted ass from Friday until last night at 2am to get the house ready to show today.  Holy fucking shit.  I need a facial. 

I must have had at least 10 2 pump Vanilla Latte's with whippage.  I sanded, painted, caulked (MORE), vacuumed, mopped, scraped, dusted, scrubbed, and painted some more.  Okay, so maybe I didn't sand.  But I might as well have.  And amidst it all I managed to squeeze in DIY dye job on the mop.  My mop.  I'm totally a brunette.  Actually, it's more of a mud.  I finally caved.  Oh well.  C'est la vie.  It's just hair right?  I can't tell if 'he' really likes it or not.  He did say 'I think you need a tan'.  Thanks sweetie.  Thanks.

House is officially for sale.  WAHOO!  And I just spilled coffee down my shirt.  AWESOME! 

Ace Caulker

Need caulking?  Once our house settled after all the renovations, a lot of the trim and moldings began to separate from the wall leaving cracks.  It was one of the things our realtor advised us to take care of before we list our house.  I got home at 6p last night and caulked every inch of our ceilings until midnight.  I am Ace Caulker.

We owned a corner lot adjacent to our home, which we sold - and closed on Wednesday.  One down, two more to go.  The plan is to list the house by Monday, so we have been in total Bob Villa mode for the last 2 weeks completing unfinished projects.  Then Finance will be working on selling his business.  We'll sell all our 'stuff' and put the important things in storage...and maybe Vern will let us crash their pad for a few months??? HA!  When we were renovating 2 years ago, they 'took us in' for about a month before the house was ready for us to move in.  It was AWESOME.  No joke.  Especially the food part.

Next step will be to drop the kids off at their respective new homes.  Zoe will go to Vern and Mr. Buck....Marley to Kat and Monte in O-Town, sans balls.  Then I get to quit my job.  SAHWEET!  Then we head out to Montana and prepare for the wedding.  July 15th, we wed in pure country shabby chic style.  I can smell the ribs and the baked mac and cheese now...with bluegrass in the background and my sweet sexy man lookin all like Brad Pitt in A River Runs Through It.  YEAH BABY!!!  SHA-WING!

THEN.  We embark on the trip of a lifetime. 

Did I tell you we have decided to have a totally new 'last name' given to us...while we are on our trip. Somewhere...who knows.  Maybe we can get the Dalai Lama to suggest something.  Neither of us were too interested in taking each-others name (they both kinda suck...), and we thought it would be cool to create our own for our family.

I am literally busting at the seams.  Not in a bloated I just ate 2 double decker taco supremes with extra sour cream and topped it off with a caramel apple pie, way...in a holy effing hell I am completely overwhelmed with all the exciting, uncertain new experiences that await us in less than 6 months, way.  GOOD TIMES!