My dog is hot. Like THE FEVER hot! Something has come over him like I've never seen. He's like a different dog. And, not to mention he has perfected the multitasking art of air humping while walking and licking cooter. I mean, he has had his nose so far up Barty's ass for the last 5 days, it's ridiculous. Last night Vern and I were sitting in the living room trying to knit and unwind from a days work. There are three dogs at our feet. Marley. Zoe. And their dog, Bartrum. Let's have a look shall we. Here is the pack.
Zoe Pitts
Marley Bigilo
and Barty Griffin
Zoe is in a corner somewhere trying to lay low, because she has been through this before once. She knows better than to have her ass exposed. But Barty. Well now, Barty is just TOTALLY encouraging Marley's behavior. She might as well be begging for it. Because she walks around the house, her nubby little tail just flipping around Marleys nose and she'll straight up just lie down, roll on her back and relax her hips so she is spread wide open. Easy access. Marley dives in. This dog has gotten more action in the last week that any of us in that house for the past year. The both of them, are down right digusting. There is constant licking, and snorting, and well...you all know how I feel about that sort of thing in GENERAL, you can imagine how my blood curdles when I discover the licking and snorting is of Marley eating Bartrum out.
Add to this Marley's air-humping with his GIGANTIC balls just banging around and up against whatever he is thrusting near...and we are talking one agressive, testosterone filled tension in a room. We finally decided to put Marley downstairs because he is just out of control. Won't rest is loins for one minute! We sat back down, and once that testosterone had been removed, it was AMAZING how much calmer everyone was. We joked around that that 'last row' we'd had knit was pretty DAMN TIGHT.
I am convinced he knows Monday he's getting his nuts chopped. He's got to know. It's so bad, we may have to quarantine him for the next 5 days.
