No not THAT beef.
If I had to list 3 of the primary causes of dissociation between Finance and I it would be, and in no particular order:
1) lack of trust: to feel trusted, and be trustworthy.
2) division of time/labor: who's not doing what. this includes how we each value our 'time'. Spent alone, and together. Not feeling appreciated.
3) money. no need for explanation here.
So what got me thinking about this, is Kristen's post over at Motherhood Uncensored. Her very candid (and always refreshing) gripe reveals to us the sense of imbalance she feels at home with her husband when it comes to raising her child. I'm thinking to myself, this is nothing new! If someone gave me a penny for every time I have uttered the words 'Does he just not THINK?', I would certainly be rich.
Men and Women in all the history of like...ever...have had trouble communicating their needs to one another...and I can't possibly imagine that that would not be compounded with the addition of children stuck in the middle of that equation.
How often have we used the word WE towards our significant other, when we CLEARLY knew the 'WE' was not a 'WE'. How often have we had expectations that we would imagine to any other half-intelligent human being would be CRYSTAL CLEAR or perfectly reasonable, yet not so much when it comes to our partner? How many times have you thought to yourself 'This COULD be so simple' if my partner wasn't such a *insert whatever you fancy*.
Both men and women have trouble understanding each other. And we all share the responsibility of negotiation along the way. The goal being that over YEARS AND YEARS of practice, you may just get to a place where you have a routine that allows you to be happy, and provide a loving quasi-healthy environment for your children to grow.
It just made me laugh, because it was one of those posts where, I can't imagine there is one person out there who in some way or another hasn't experienced the strain and disconnect that is not understanding each others actions/or INactions. The idea that you can be completely dumbfounded at the notion that you have chosen one another FOR EVER, is just sometimes TOTALLY ASININE!!! It's so the price you pay for sharing your life with another human being. I think most of us just realize in our moments of imperfection, feeling from time to time that we have made an egregious mistake in choosing our life partner, is okay. Cuz really? Some days, we just suck at being thoughtful, selfless, considerate, helpful, loving, or appreciative. And when the sexy, mindful, brilliant, passionate man/or woman reemerges, we can appreciate the fact that SOME things, WILL NEVER CHANGE.
