Dear Friends.
You are looking at a photograph of someones 'outtie' belly button I ripped off the net. You are also observing the likeness of the hemorrhoid that is occupying my asshole right now. WTF? HELLO!
I got me a husband and a hemorrhoid the other day. I seemed to have missed the memo about the potential dangers of lifting very heavy rocks for three days straight to build a rock wall that would accent the new barn for the wedding.
I woke up the day after the wedding thinking that Zack had ass-assaulted me on our wedding night...and I had just forgotten. Upon denial of such acts, and further investigation of my ass...I discovered what resembles a lotus flower...a jelly belly...an ASS BLOSSOM if you will...on my bum.
Now. There is just something about seeing your 'insides' OUT, that just isn't right. Last night I joined my family and a few close friends (sister in law who has birthed two babies) and you wouldn't believe the look of awe on their faces as we had 'show and tell' in the bathroom...as no one, myself included, REALLY knew what a hemorrhoid looks like.
So. I challenge you. GOOGLE that shit. And get to know the wrath of your ass...because they don't show you that crap in the Preparation H cream commercial...and now you will see why. I am too young for this shit.
I can't even talk about wedding things yet. Soon though. Pardon me while I go sit on a fudge pop.
Love,
S
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