Princess Stella Reporting From The Bavarian Outback

I wrote this in my journal to share with you all yesterday morning.

Mr. Early Camper Waker Upper.  You suck.  And I am going to tell you why.  I'm really trying to get used to this camping stuff, but you are making it very difficult.  Now that we realize we have only 60 euro a day to eat, sleep and pay the enormous motorway tolls in this continent...I have had to get used to the notion that whether I like it or not, the tent be my new home. 

My husband and I were doing just fine exchanging body warmth and snoozing semi soundly in the confines of our little abode.  That is of course until you decided it was time to get up.  You see, I dont mind that you prefer an early rise...its just that as soon as you start doing all your morning camperly things (clanging of pots and pans...zipping up and down this and that...igniting your stoves...chit chatting with the birds...), you might as well sound the wake up alarm for the whole god damned campground because as soon as you get up, your neighbor gets up.  And then their neighbor gets up...and before you know it the early risers have multiplied (like a plague).  So now you have awoken myself, and my husband...but the difference here is that, as the Brits say...I CANT BE BOTHERED - yet, the esposo...he cant possibly ignore your sweet camperly music.  There is coffee to be made...and stuff to cook...and air to be breathed.  And shit.  And there I am left in the cold den of that bastard T-E-N-T, with my not so discreet husband joining in on the music.  I lay cold and disgruntled and I dream of the quiet hotel room where I can pull the curtains at night and hubby cant tell the difference between 6am and the much more appropriate 10am.

So I sat there like (as Hillary says...) POUTY PARKER, sipping on my coffee - and I couldn't take my eyes off a cute couple that had camped beside us.  I had noticed them the night before...appeared to be our age, and married...they spoke with an English accent - what I had assumed was Australian.  They laughed a lot.  They had arrived there on bikes, towing all their travel gear.  They both were in incredible shape, kick ass figures and super good looking.  Dude was straight out of Braveheart...fiery messy hair with a single dread hanging down the nape of his neck.  The girl was so friggin beautiful...dark hair, long and slender, lightly freckled. 

She was fixing their breakfast.  I had been given the duty of watching our eggs boil while Zack was tidying up our campsite.  Hotty Mc Hotterson is whipping up what appears to me to be friggin BANANAS FOSTER on her little stove while her Braveheart is packing up.  It gets better.  I nudge Zack...and point out her culinary skills.  Before I know it...she has moved on to French Toast, boiled ham...eggs...its a damn 7 course meal before you know it, all out of one pan...hunched over in her little bicycle shorts and scarf wrapped hair.  I hate her.  Zack chuckles in the background as I mumble under my breath, about "wheres my breakfast at?". 

But of course I start talking to her as soon as she walks by to go brush her teeth...and before you know it the four of us are sitting around chit chatting.  Mel and Steven.  From NEW ZEALAND.  They were the poster couple for athleticism...and in serious denial as she must have told us 4 times that they were NOT CYCLIST.  Just giving the whole biking around Europe thing a whirl.  I couldn't get enough of her lovely estrogen beaming aura.  It was so nice to get a little girl time after spending a week with the boy.

Speaking of a week with the boy.  Poligny, and Fontainebleau  France, was lovely.  Even more so were the wonderful people we met during our stay.  There was an elderly couple staying next to us with their daughter...who I made good friends with, Danielle.  She spoke great English, and was a god-sent as she translated for us to the owners of the gite where we stayed.  Her father had helped hide some British and American soldiers in his house in France during the war, when he was young and was ratted out to the Germans.  They came and took him in the middle of the night and put him in a concentration camp, where he managed to escape 6 months later, with the assistance of a...German, who hid him in his truck from the camp and smuggled him out.  Dropped him off at the border of Germany and France to swim across a river where he stumbled onto a Farm where a woman, whose husband had been killed in the war, equipped him with her husbands clothes and a bike...to ride all the way to Paris.

WILD.

We left all teary eyed, and on thru Germany.  Went thru Uberlingen (and camped) then on to Fussen (where we met Mel and Steven).  Southern Germany is friggin gorgeous.  Its like....North Carolina.  But awesome-er.  I almost went paragliding...but we decided to save it for another time.

Then on thru Austria.  Beautiful.  We tried to check out Innsbruck, but the place was impossible to drive around in.  It took us an hour to locate the tourist info place, and after getting yelled at by angry pedestrians we decided they could all kiss our ass, and wed move on to Italy.  So here we are in lovely, Bolzen.  Or something.

After falling in love with Braveheart and Mel...and wishing we had rock hard bodies like they do...Zack and I are flirting with the idea of biking South America.  YOU HEARD ME.  BICYCLE.  I wouldn't hold your breath just yet.

I have to go and eat the rest of my chocolate croissant now.  Ciao!

s

Picture pages...

This first one is just for you Hill.

 

The view from our camp in Fussen.

I cant complain people.  The country here is rich and beautiful.  The baguettes are like crack, the pastries (especially the pain au chocolate variety) are like crack, and I have gained 5 pounds.  All is well.

Comments

[AndreaDetroit]

Amazing pictures for an amazing journey! Thanks so much for taking the time to update us when you can. I check every day for something new and it's always a treat to read your latest entry, which almost always has something that makes me Laugh Out Loud. Take Care and enjoy this time you have to explore the world. Have you thought about possibly writing a book about your travels after the year is over? I know I'd stand in line to buy my copy :)

[kim]

wow, it sounds great [except for the tent-sleeping and all. that wouldn't be mine either...] and i'm glad you enjoyed germany :) now have fun in italy and thanks for keeping us up to date on your journey.

[vern]

What a treat to hear about your travels and see some pictures. Love the "look" with your hair pulled back...and there are no signs of that 5 lbs. I think as active as your are you should eat some bread for me! Their butter is the best, too! Loved hearing the stories of the people you are meeting. sounds like you are finally in the groove!!!

[ainh]

Yay! Loving the update.

You guys are really doing it. I'm seriously impressed that you're camping your way through Europe. I found it was hard enough to stay sane even going the hotel route. Husband and I always started fighting when we'd drive into a big city and (inevitably) get lost. Somehow that was always the straw that broke the camel's back in our travels. Sounds like you guys are doing great and I'm sure all the other campers are calling you and Zack 'Mr and Mrs Super Badass Climbin' Hottie McHottersons'!!

[marnie]

What just a fricken minute here.. are you gonna to be sleeping in a T E N T for a whole fricken year? My god, I hope you have one of those nice self-inflating air beds, with a feather topper and down duvet. I reallly hope you have a nice jetted tub stashed away in the back of that tent.

Shit, I don't think I could handle it. I would have caved and found an overly priced HoJo within a week. Kudos to you both for that.

That first pic of you, with the stone dude drilling his eye out with something... which finger are you using there?

6 am on a fucking vacation? Good lord. Crazy shit. You should get one of those battery powered noise makers.. sounds of the ocean and crap. Drown out all the cheery, happy, smiling morning people.

[stella]

hillary enjoys sticking an imaginary fork in her eye to express her state of being. when we were in the Louve, we came across this dude here, driving a stake into his eyeball, and it couldnt have been at a more appropriate time. it was a balmy 90 in that joint and i had been walking around with a backpack that easily weighed 15 pounds. i was pointing rather than flicking. the dude seemed to say it all.

marnie. it is sad. very sad.
ainh. we have a very love-hate relationship these days. the loving-hating occurs DAILY...and the hating most often in the morning, and when we are lost....or when i am being told we cant afford another chocolate pastry. ainh. i have also decided i dont want to leave atlanta because of you and A. and considering that isnt really an option...having sold the house and business and all....and zack wants to strangle me at the thought...you and A, and your husbands i suppose...have to move out west. i have been convincing zack that california could be an option. if we can find somewhere affordable.

is that even possible?

vernster. we miss you. and i have been thinking about buck so much. i do hope he pushes thru this and doesnt lose his confidence. hate to see this snuff his fire. even a bit. tell him i miss him!

andrea. youd really buy my book? rockin. i might write one then. just for you.

kim. bremen girl....bremen!! too far north for us. i totally wanted to visit though. god germany is beautiful. at least the bit we got to see!!!

[mamatulip]

I WANT TO BE WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

*sigh*

[Jessica]

You are brave. I hate camping. I would have already cut my trip in half in order to stay at a hotel!

[Hill]

Oh my God, Stella, I have the EXACT photo on my camers from the last time I went there!!! Love. It.

So glad you two are having fun (and that the camping's not TOO excruciating, though the mere THOUGHT of doing it for weeks at a time does, in fact, make me want to stab myself in the eye...)

Hee hee, Carrie and I were just reminiscing on our last camping experience with the fecking early risers...It's like, seriously - What the fuck are they in such a hurry to get up for? The trees will still be there at TEN, people!!!!!

Love you, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

[kim]

don't worry, stella. i understand. it'd been cool to have you and show you around but with everything you still wanna see, i understand you won't have the time and all. enjoy the trip and keep us updated. i love to hear the stories ;)

[Todd Elliott]

I love the picture of the building with the weather vane on it. That would make a neat painting or something.

[bro]

you're looking great, sis. that last photo of fussen is fukken beautiful. when you're in a crappy mood, just tell yourself you're making a memory. that's what amy says, anyway. josh just celebrated his 3rd. he ought to be entering college when you get back. or at least it seems that way. love ya.

[TB]

So awesome. You're making me wish for an adventure.

[the weirdgirl]

Argh! My dad is one of those early riser campers, too. He used to drive the rest of us nuts. I feel your pain.

Great pictures, though!

[Mignon]

The story of the French couple was wonderful. And the pictures beautiful. I was trying to be all indignant about pretty biking early-rising people, but you have to leave out gorgeous pictures of you and Zack if you want me to be all snippety about *them*. "hunched over in her little bicycle shorts and scarf wrapped hair" (at least be helpful enough to quit looking all svelt and happy in your t-shirt and scar wrapped hair, mkay?)

[Tim Parish]

go on, you 2, give paragliding a try next opportunity!

check out my site, if you ever had the slightest twinge of 'what did we miss out on?'

:-)