Finding Zen

The Most Boring Post Ever

I haven't written because I didn't want to bore you with the details of the last very uneventful week or so.

And because I still have nothing to report...I'll just toss you a regular ol' chicken(s). 

*  I learned last night that a BUNGHOLE, is infact not a word Beavis made up.  It is the hole in a wine cask.  Between this new information and the blowing-up-of-horses...I feel slightly enlightened these days.   Brownie points to whoever knows what TV Show my husband is obsessed with, that revealed this tid-bit to us.

*  Speaking of TV.  When we got out here, we lost access to watching So You Think You Can Dance, which kinda sucked.  But we have discovered a channel called IFC? that runs really cool movies.  AND I am digging the new MAD MEN show.  Anyone else seen this?

*  I worked for TBS for 4 years and NEVER watched Everybody Loves Raymond.  I never understood why people thought it was so funny.  Until I got married...it suddenly clicked.  I always liked King of Queens...but just never got hooked on Raymond.  In the last year, it has been Zack and I's fall back show.  If all else fails on the boob tube - we just go to Raymond.  It is hysterical every time.  It's sort of like Extreme Home Makeover.  We know whats going to happen every time.  It will be some sob story.  The people will get a macked out house, the kids will all get scholarships, the builders will pay their mortgage off...and they will totally deserve it.  Only EVERY TIME we watch.  We BOTH cry.  We CAN NOT -- not cry.  I think the person who can NOT CRY during an episode of Extreme Home Makeover (re-runs don't count), is seriously 'out of order'.

 

Where's The Beef?

• It's hard not to think about beef when you are in Montana.  The beef is everywhere.  When we were in the Tuscan Ghetto (The Place We Do Not Speak Of), it was my job to feed the animals on the farm.  We left after 2 days, so I can't really complain...but thats beside the point.  I was told the first morning after a breakfast of 2,000year old rock hard bread (with water to dip in so you don't crack a tooth) and some fig jelly....that it was 'time to feed THE PORK'.  The wha?  Also, you can imagine my shock to learn The Pork, were not cute like PORKY.  They were more like human eating sasquatch pigs.  I think they were 2,000 years old too.  Anyway, for the sake of nostalgia - lets call the cows - The Beef.
• I love The Beef.  I have been eating The Beef for all the days of my life.  Save maybe the first 3...at least.  The Beef is...not a cow.  It's The Beef.  And it's especially nice as a Big Mac or Hamburger Helper.  I could never get comfortable shopping at the butcher shops of France...because they forget to take the HEADS OFF THE food!!  I don't need my food looking at me whilst I savor it.  That's just not nice.
• I looked out the window on our drive from Red Lodge back home, and I wondered about The Beef.  Has The Beef EVER been a wild animal?  Animals born and bred solely for the purpose of eating it...just seems so wrong.  Now chickens. I don't feel so bad for them.  There are Wild Chickens everywhere.  And Pork.  Those guys, definitely wild.  Right?  So it's just shitty luck if you wind up at the Purdue Farm.  But The Beef!  There is no FREE RANGE.  Has the Beef ever had a life of just being a Cow?  I suppose...if you wind up the Milk Cow.  But those are really shitty odds.   I bet the Milk Cow isn't very popular with the rest of the farm animals.
• I finished another blanket. 

• The Stillwater River looks great on my husband.

• The Venison is doing just fine.

• We are still undecided about the MOVE.  Now we are talking about visiting Fort Collins.   There is real possibility we may end up in SLC, Boise, or Fort Collins.  Have begun to consider that Bozeman might not be quite large enough for the socialite in our family.  That would be me.  Coming from Atlanta..it could be a stretch.  And construction may prove difficult for Zack in Bozeman.  And soon you will learn to start ignoring me about statements I make in relation to things not happening within the next say....24 hours. 

Did You Know?

That if your horse/mule dies on you during a pack trip into the mountains, you have to blow it up?

Learn something new everyday.

Go Shorty

It's my birthday.

And in case anyone was worried I haven't been eating well now that I'm in the country.  Allow me to show you exhibit A.  Let's call it...Detox Wha?

The end.

If Yellowstone Ever Blows

It might look like it did last night.

 

Or maybe the coming of the RAPTURE?  Yellowstone is but a wee crows fly from here.  Just south of us.  If it blows, this will be ground zero.  And I am comforted by the fact that we will all die instantly.  Good times.

There is a fire burning nearby...thus the ominous sky.  The dogs didn't give a shit.  But I'll tell you...it was pretty trippy.

And the STING.  Is Worse.  Don't you feel just a LITTLE bad for me??  You all act as though I'm posting random belly shots and complaining about how BLOATED I look.

Once again.  My first battle wound in less than a WEEK.

p.s.  I didn't edit those Rapture photos.  At all.  I cannot vouch purity on the stomach however.  Sorry.  I needed you to really see this thing this time.  Dammit.