Jesus Music

Much like the Doobie Brothers,  "Jesus is just alright with me...".  Not only is Jesus just alright, but when Allison Krauss sings about "oh brother lets go down to the river and pray", I'm ready to call up my Jesus lovin' brother for a swim.  I'm not Christian.  I'm not Jewish, or Muslim, or even as much as I'd like to be, Buddhist.  I'm just Stella.  (and I'm really not even that.)

I do love me some good music though, and I've been rootin around I-Tunes for some new stuff.  Yesterday, I followed one of those 'other listeners liked...' links after browsing through some Nickel Creek (Borderline Jesus Music with enough fiddle to make it feel a little less freaky), and stumbled upon a gal named Mindy Smith.  Ahh...Mindy's voice in that 30 sec sound clip was like honey.  A bit like The Sundays.  One might even say, heavenly.  Sold.  To the Sister of a Christian who hasn't listened to her Jars of Clay cd since 1993 when she REALLY wanted to impress him.  Rain, Rain wasn't so bad, but I didn't even know who I was lifting myself up to. 

So this morning I downloaded Mindy's entire CD.  I was very excited.  I plopped down into the couch and grabbed my knitting...and let Mindy loose on the Bose speakers.  Within the first three songs I began to notice a trend.  References to He, and YOU, and being saved.  Uh oh.  But in my naivety I was falling in love with her sweet voice and the suggestion of heartbreak and new love.  Ahhh...I know how it can be.  Until the next song she mentions going over to a neighbors house and asking if he has the KEY to heaven.  Oh for the love!

Soon enough, by track eight, it is very clear that Mindy and Jesus are tight, and I have just spent 9.99 to add Holy Music to my poor unsuspecting husbands I-Pod.  And I'm sorta pissed.  I feel a little lied to.  A little like - THEY GOT ME!  (Yes, a little edgy, I got witnessed one too many times by the Tallahassee Church of Christ in college).  So anyway, where was the disclaimer?  How could the I-TUNES people have just conveniently left the little Mindy Loves To Sing About Jesus DETAIL out of the artist bio?  I mean, its fine that Mindy loves Jesus and Gang, but STELLA DOESNT.  She loves, Jack Johnson and Gang.

Let me try to explain it to you.  It's like...it's like let's say I came on here one day and wrote this passionate love story, about me and some dude....and of course it was fictional, because, we all love Zack but it was gripping, and passionate, and it made you think of that guy you dated in college.  But then you get to the end of my story and I reveal that the man's name is Spidey.  Short for Spiderman.  How do you feel about that?

You love Spiderman...he's great.  He does good things - has a decent reputation.  But you KNOW I didn't really meet Spidey.  You now worry that what I really need is some therapy.  Kind of a bummer eh?  Yeah.  Well, thats how I feel about Jesus Music.  It sorta creeps me out.  Because when people start talkin all desperate and romantic and lustful about relationships with quasi-fictional characters, it's sorta whacka-doo.

It's disappointing because Mindy's voice is so beautiful, but I don't want to hear about where to find the keys to heaven.  Really.  I don't.  Because I'm still trying to find the keys to my car.  Tell me how to be a better listener.  A better friend.  A better lover.  Sing to me about birth, and death, and new beginnings.  I want to hear about good sex, and great conversations, rainbows and sunsets!  But nails in my hands and being SAVED?  Naa, I'm good.  Because Jesus is just alright with me.  Oh yeah!

This all just makes me laugh, because I understand even more now why my brother and sister-in-law both always preface a G-O-D or Jesus remark with "Not to sound all....'you know'....".  Yes.  I know.  And thank you for playing to my sensitivities.

Comments

[Mignon]

It's like when you're driving through a new town looking for a radio station (do people with ipods still do this?), and you find something you can wiggle to and then all of a sudden the soft-voiced-tinged-with-accusation dj comes on and is all "That was the sweet sounds of Eden and Her Save-Yore now let's head outside and see what Our Heavenly Father in All His Glory has in store for us weather-wise..." and you're all Fuck! I just lost 3 minutes of good radio searching and so you spin the dial again and catch the last 20 seconds of Soulja Boy, which you would've heard the whole thing if Eden and Her Save-Yore hadn't been singing in disguise. I know how it is.

I recommend Gone Gone Gone (Robert Plant and Alison Krauss), This Is Us (Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris), Change (Blind Melon), and Trapeze (Patty Griffin). If you like these, email me and I'll send you the rest of the mellow mix I made.

[Hannah]

I think you might like a little Eddie From Ohio.

http://eddiefromohio.com/

[Erin]

It is sad that Jesus becomes part of some twisted romance song. Have you ever seen the Southpark where Cartman writes "Christian" music but really just puts Jesus' name in a bunch of love songs? It's genius.

You don't know me, obviously, but I read your blog and I enjoy it. However, as a Christian, I do wish that out of respect for the faith you would not refer to Jesus as a fictional character. For some people, me, he is God. After all, there is historical evidence that there was this fellow named Jesus, can we say the same about Peter Parker? And while I realize we (Christians) are represented by a bunch of wackos, that's not who Jesus is. In fact, I think Jesus throws up in his mouth when he hears Christian music. Whether or not you believe in him is irrelevant to me, just don't compare him to Spiderman, unless you're willing to make Buddah Batman and Mohammad--Mighty Mouse.

p.s. eddie from ohio is fantastic.

[stella]

Erin:
i would agree that jesus probably doesn't like the jesus music either.

and i did say QUASI-fictional. i'm sure there was a man named jesus. i say quasi, because i'm also convinced that jesus was also a lot more ordinary than some people would like to think of him. but we really don't need to go there.

i appreciate your comment - and know cartman's song...its hilarious.

mig- please send me this music love you speak of. and i know exactly what youre talking about. zack and i have spent much of our relationship in a car - traveling -and we have been through this scenario so many times. its sneaky sometimes...you think, just maybe...its not jesus music...its groovy...its good stuff...and then the ALMIGHTY slides in there..and where all WHOAAAAAAA - moving right along!!!!!!

Hannah - i must check this eddie out! thanks for the recommendation!

*for the record. i can't stop listening to miss mindy. she reminds me so much of The Sundays...and I love the Sundays...

[Terri]

Stella-
One of the things that makes your blog great is that you rarely censor yourself.

Please call Christians or whomever or whatever you believe something is, what you believe it to be.

If it's true that you think Christians are a bit wack-a-doo and that Jesus is a fictional character, then you should say it. (Although I don't believe you said that...exactly.)

People are all the time getting in trouble for stepping on someone's beliefs no matter how inane or stupid. I, for one, think we should stand up for what we believe to be true.

If Hannah believes she has evidence for Jesus and God, by all means she ought to blog about it. But what Hannah doesn't understand is that there are those of us who can never believe that because the evidence is simply not available to us. What are we to do then, lie to ourselves?

Or maybe Hannah would just have us all keep it to ourselves if we don't happen to agree with you so as not to offend Hannah.

Christ might be important to you Hannah. But integrity is important to everyone.

[Karen]

A fight! A fight! That's what religion is good for! And I promise you, I don't worship Buddha, but if I did, I hope you slap me in the face right quick.

[Erin]

Perhaps terri should A) get my name right, and B) re-read my comment.

All I said, was that out of a respect for EVERY faith, there should be consideration taken for the fact that people do believe in whatever or whomever it is. Therefore out of respect, a more nuanced comparison might have made Stella's point without comparing Jesus to Spiderman. Stella did not offend me but I think all of the world religions deserve respect because we should respect the people who believe in them. When we belittle them we are belittling one another, and that is why religions fight (or one of the reasons).....

I don't really give a rip in what anyone else believes in.

I realize that as a Christian we often come across as pushing our beliefs but I also said we are represented by a bunch of wackos. I am not like that, and if anything, all I was hoping to do with my comment, was contribute to the conversation by saying, yes Christian music sucks, but let's not belittle the people who make this music by saying they are singing to Spiderman. For them it is genuine no matter how much they may make us want to shove icicles in our ears.

I'm sorry if I offended you Stella. Please do not censor your blog, that was never my point.

[stella]

Zack has just confirmed my potentially inflammatory Jesus/Fiction blurt. Traitor.

So I'm on the record here stating that perhaps FICTIONAL wasn't the best word. Lets substitute the whole QUASI-FICTIONAL with..."2,000 year old dead men".

Is that better? I will not make ammends to the Spidey metaphor.

Here is the thing about all that - The Spiderman story was merely intended to illustrate a point - that perhaps one might be dissapointed if they got all caught up in my Mystery Romance only to find out that Dude is not real. And that seriously...is how Jesus Music makes me feel...it was the best analogy I could come up with. Not exactly to say the two examples are the same, or even REPRESENT the same thing, but that they EVOKE the same sort of dissapointment.

I can see how one might draw a parallel that I'm suggesting Jesus is not real like Spidey is not real. And I don't believe that. I'm comfortable with Jesus - he was a carpenter. And I LOVE me some carpenters! (but since we're getting all technical, no one can prove that Spidey doesn't or didn't ever exist).

As for Erins comment - I was not offended. I can be a bit callous sometimes in my remarks. Taking some extra time to consider other peoples feelings might not be a bad practice for me. ;-)

But all this was meant to be funny haha. So how about you all start telling me how damn hysterical I am?

good tidings to you. all.

xo
stella

[Mignon]

So Stella is considerate and thoughtful to her concerned and not-offended-but-merely-trying-to-solve-the-world's-religious-wars-on-Stella's-blog commenter. But for the record, Erin, it's okay to admit you were offended. If someone went off on Barry Sanders as lacking hustle and creativity while with the Lions I might have to raise my hand and suggest a clarification too. But I don't believe the majority of stuff said/written about Jesus, and to me, thusly, he is a mythical figure. Much like Santa Claus. Sure there was a Santa Claus, but he probably didn't camp out at the mall and eat 3 million pounds of poorly decorated sugar cookies in one evening. You know? I'm not telling you to not be offended, I'm just saying your perspective is a lot different than mine, and to me Stella's (perhaps unintended) analogy came off without a hitch.

(S - I'll post my favorite mellow and spastic mixes on my blog tomorrow. Or something.)

[Terri]

I'm not sure who it is that I'm talking to but I think you know who I'm talking. Posted by Karen?, Hannah?

"All I said, was that out of a respect for EVERY faith, there should be consideration taken for the fact that people do believe in whatever or whomever it is"

To what end are you really asking for respect, Karen? Proper respect paid to a general is to never question what he says. Paying respect to a child is treating them as much as can be tolerated as an adult, but potentially punishing them by making them sit in a corner.

"I'm just asking for respect" can be used to say very little or to cast a pretty broad net if one doesn't know how much respect one is asking for.

I personally don't have a lot of respect for its' invocation. It is most often used as a catch-all to say one is offended, without having to say particularly what is offensive (so the person invoking it doesn't have to address whether or not they should be.)

"I don't really give a rip in what anyone else believes in."

I think you meant to add the following,

"...unless you are subtly and mildly inconsiderate of how I might interpret something religious...then I care enough to comment blog about it."

[Chase]

Oh, my. You done started a riot.

Seriously, this is FAR too much debate for a post about disliking music. Stella, I say you stop trying to explain...you're wasting breath on this one.

I can't stand Christian music either and cringe when my man is on a kick (he's a big time crazy Jesus lover...not that that's a bad thing). I don't like it because they don't talk about anything except being sinners and needing healing and yadda yadda.

I don't like one-trick ponies...I don't care what the trick is. Talk about something else, for Pete's sake!

[juliag]

hmm... well, i was going to make a little comment here...but i see that things have gone in another direction. erk.

anyway. i was going to say that it's too bad you aren't afflicted with my inability to hear/understand lyrics. honestly, it's nearly impossible for me to interpret poems and song lyric. i probably could've listened to that album forty times without hearing anything but her sweet, honey voice. unless she actually says the word jesus or god a lot...then i might've figured it out after a few goes throughs.

[Jessica Julia's friend]

She sings an amazing song about giving birth and becoming a mother. I love it.

[Ceece]

what? Nickel Creek is not Jesus-y!!! Their new-grass. Most of their first album was old covers.

what album did you listen too?

Also if you enjoyed the mandolin playing you should check out Chris Thile's solo albums. He is truly an amazing musician!!

[stella]

ceece...ummm the blood/hand song? that is so jesus.

sweet - but jesus.

i LOVE the mandolin. ever listen to Ottmar Liebert? ohhh.. he is so good. flamenco guitar. brilliant.

[Karen]

You do have to take a little time to sort through the comments to see where the shots are coming from or otherwise cause what is euphemistically called "collateral damage," meaning everybody gets their head blown off.

[meeshsmith]

Why not let people differ about their answers to the great mysteries of the Universe? Let each seek one's own way to the highest, to one's own sense of supreme loyalty in life, one's ideal of life. Let each philosophy, each world-view bring forth its truth and beauty to a larger perspective, that people may grow in vision, stature and dedication. -Algernon Black-

[JMo]

Holy S... Batman! I haven't been around for quite some time and this is what I return to? Are you all insane, or just a little nuts? Why is it that everyone has to be "offended" by fairly innocent commentary. As much as the faithful have their right to believe, Stella and others also have the right to their opinions... Chill and have another egg nog!

[Mrs. G.]

Sadly, I don't have the key to heaven, but if you need the key to hell, come see me, baby. I've been told by a few of my readers that I am a sinfully sinning sinner. I think hell will definitely have better music.

[meeshsmith]

oh yeah, and i am not even sure what this whole blog entry was about because I am still drooling on Jack Johnson. Something about surfers... hmm... I could listen to Christian music all day if he was sitting next to me...

[andrea]

Somehow I have a knack for identifying Jesus music on the radio, I don't know how or why I know how but I just do. The song sounds a little too happy or light or praisy (a new word!). I can't quite explain it. Of course I move right along to the next station for some Jack Johnson (yum) or perhaps a little Feist. Perhaps it's a gift from JESUS! (sorry, that was supposed to be tongue in cheek, I couldn't help myself).

[A]

I love Ann Coulter.

[DebbieDoesLife]

I enjoyed your post. I am a Christian and I like some of the new Christian music but in small doses. I agree, and am also not comfortable with the relationship a lot of the songs try to impart in their songs. Like Jesus is my "buddy" or something. I grew up Catholic so I guess I am more comfortable with a robe-wearing, more distant Jesus.

I think most of the things that people don't like about religion though are the things made up by man - not God.

[Bro]

"christian music" sucks. mostly. well almost completely.
jack johnson rocks. ditto for eddie, ottmar, and nickel creek. can i get an amen for a little john butler trio, though?
and singing love songs to Jesus ought to be freaky as hell to anyone who doesn't believe the guy is actually alive, somehow, interacting with them on a daily basis. which is, of course, what your basic orthodox Christian believes. so, sista, I'm down with your christin music freakiness thing and get the spidey analogy....but am still praying that one day this so-called "spidey" will one day come a courtin' singing you love songs.

[amk]

Okay, I'm going to reveal my one and only secret power: I went to elementary school with mr. johnson. It's true. Kind of a lame super power, I know. Being able to see into other people's pants would be waaaaay cooler. But still, there you have it. I usually don't pull that name card, because in all honesty we haven't seen each other since we were 16 and I think I was kind of a bitch to him then because I really wanted to make out with Kelly Slater or Benji Wetherly or someone way more famous because I was really crappy and petty like that. Actually, that's a lie. I never wanted to make out with Kelly Slater. Ever. But I was super hot for Benji, whom I'd been madly in love with from the moment he stole my milk on the playground when we were 12. Anyway...little did I know Jack was going to become Jack Johnson Jack. Totally blew that one. Anyway, that, my friend is a true story, although perhaps I should change the names, to protect the innocent. Which would clearly NOT include me.

[amk]

Also, totally didn't read the above comments wherein a minor mighty war was breaking out. Leave it to me to be completely friggen unaware of the world beyond WHAT I WANT TO SAY.

Right. Anyway, carry on all.

xoxo
amk

[stella]

dear amy.

it was a good run. you and i. but in light of this recent confession, i'm not sure we can be friends anymore.

i mean. whoa. just give me some space. just a little space. to hate you for a while.

that is all.

s

[AmK]

Roger that. Um, but will you let me know when you want to be my friend again? Because I have this really great song I think you should listen to, about my friend Jesus, from Mexico.

KIDDING.

Ok. This is all, all.