Nothing Of Substance

Okay folks.  I'm literally scraping resin from the bowl at this point (which reminds me of a friend in high school, his name was Joe - I have a vision of Joe scrouched down in the corner of a dark room at a party scraping resin from multiple bowls to amount to one small toke - and finally resorting to an entire bottle of Robitussin just to get high.  We then called him Joebitussin.)  This was the same Joe who dressed like Robert Smith (THE ORIGINAL GOTH thank you very much), and made me WEEP with his rendition of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on the piano.  Yes, those were 'my people'.

I haven't anything to say these days.  I'm pretty happy.  And happy doesn't make for good writing - at least for me.  I got a bill for 10k from the hospital yesterday.  That's 10 plus 3 zeros - and I didn't even get a baby with that!  I told Vern that when I do deliver my babies I'm going to have Zack wait in the car outside the ER while I run in carrying the baby between my legs.  I'll ask them to 'cut 'er loose!' and tell them to do it quickly because 'the meter is running'.  I can't be bothered.  There is a new rule in our house these days.  As long as spinal fluid and brain matter are where they're supposed to be - you're fine.

So anyway, I have two questions that have been bugging me lately.  Feel free to share your thoughts on this.

Why is it that older men wear their baseball caps (with the bill completely FLAT) on the very top of their heads?

Why do people ride their bikes in the street when there are sidewalks for that purpose?

I've also been thinking of baby names.  BORING.  I know.  And I'm still not pregnant, but I think about it ALL THE TIME. 

Boys:

Maxwell (Max has been axed now thanks to the likes of Christina Skankulera AND J-Lo and all the other Hollywood Hussy's using it.  Assholes.)

Reese

Jack

Ben

Mason

***OOPS I FORGOT THIS ONE.  The current frontrunner!  I knew I was missing something...

OLIVER (So very british.  and I love me some brits.  which is why we love BEN too.  shut up.  you know you love the Geico Gecko!!)

Girls:

Mallory

Jane

Olivia

Amalee (I LOVED the movie Amelie - but worry if I used the French spelling, the poor kid would get 'ah-meelee?' all the time.)

Madeline (pronounced Mad-elin, not Mad-eline.)

Charley (currently the frontrunner- and absolutely inspired by High Fidelity.  It was the first time I'd ever heard Charley used for a girl..and I loved Catherine Zeta Jones' character!)

AUDREY!

Feel free to trash my names, or offer ones of your own.  I'm down.  We can play pretend NAME THAT BABY, can't we?  It's perfectly normal to have baby names figured out before your pregnant.  One of my oldest dearest friends Rhia (known here as PBM) had her flatware picked out when we were 12.  I didn't even know what flatware was.  Besides, if it turns out I can't get pregnant, Zack said I could have cats.  So then we'll have like 12 cats with the names of our would-have-been children.  Now there's an uplifting thought.

***Update.  Okay so we played this game in a very long line waiting to order food at our favorite Taqueria del Sol last night.  Over a pitcher of margaritas.  It was going great.  He bawked at Sabine.  Made a few DECENT suggestions of his own - we even agreed on a new contender - AUDREY (because we love amelie...but ain't french, and then we thought of Audrey Tatou (sp?) and bingo...Audrey was born!).  Then he started rattling off all his friends names.  I was like DUDE, we aren't naming our children after all your friends.  He's all "But my friends are all COOL!"...I'm like...whatever.  So then we are almost through drink number two and just about to the counter to order...and with entirely too much enthusiasm, he looks at me and says..."ooo ooo, I have a good one!"  - I can't WAIT to hear it! -

"How about ASS FACE?" 

Do you see what I have to deal with?  Just like his mother.  All 'SHOW ME THE BABY!'.  BORING.

Comments

[Amity]

The Charley name reminds me of Catherine Zeta-Jones' character in "High Fidelity."

And I'm thinking in the South, Amalee would get pronounced, "AM-a-lee". (Says the girl named Amity...)

I like Madeline, too, but spelled Madilyn or Madelyn. (And I love Maddie for short!)

Mallory will forever be tied to Family Ties...

I'm loving the boy name Mason.

[stella]

BINGO!
I'm struggling with the Family Ties a bit as well....

[Jamie]

On the bike question: 1) because riding on the sidewalk is illegal in most states although it's generally ignored by the police (but it will get you arrested in Chicago. Seriously. Not ticketed, but arrested!) and 2) it's actually been proven to be more dangerous to ride on the sidewalk in most cases than with the flow of traffic (cars aren't looking for you when they back out of driveways *smash* and drivers aren't paying attention to the sidewalk when they make right-hand turns *crunch*).

Of course, this is all a mute point if someone rides like a jerk while they're out on the road and not following the rules of the road, such as running red lights and whipping in and out of traffic.

Remember, they're not called siderides but sidewalks. :-) You could always call your elected officials and demand more segregated bike lanes and bike paths if it makes you nervous to have bikes in the regular flow of traffic. I know, as a bicyclist, I'd love to see more of them!

Happy potential name picking.

[S]

I love Reese, either for a boy or a girl. I also like Mason (Dead Like Me, anyone?) For some reason Chance has always been a favorite, too. Other ideas from my small brain: Gillian (or Jillian), Lillian, Payton, Elijah, Dexter, Celia, and Genevieve. I am sure I will think of more in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. I love baby names! The little tykes have so much potential (until they grow up to be the idiots driving in my lane. Not that your spawn will be an idiot. Just saying..) And my hubby seems to think two kids are enough, so I need no more baby names.. so sad.

Hey, I sent you a picture of "someone" on a trampoline. Did you get it?

[kat]

reminds you of a friend, eh? and not someone you know? (wink wink)

[jess]

Baby names are my favorite subject. No one should name their baby without first looking at the social security data for the previous year. It will tell you the ranking of your favorite names, and thus help you avoid growing up as Jessica C during your formative years (not that I'm bitter). Of the names you posted, Ben(jamin) is the best. Classic. Jack is good, too, but really popular. Mason is too surnamey for me, although I am (like the previous commenter) a Dead Like Me fan. How about Asher for a boy? Biblical, not too common, and comes with a cool nickname--Ash. I prefer Rhys spelled this way, and only for a boy.

Girls--Jane is quite simply perfect. I LOVE that name. Olivia is way up there in popularity, ditto Madeline. Both are lovely. I like Mallory, and Charley would be ok short for Charlotte, which is gorgeous. If you like Amelie but worry about the pronunciation, what about Amelia? I really like Amelie, but you might need the background to pull it off. I would use it with the correct spelling or not at all. Too confusing. Or go for a french name that is more familiar to us--Adele/Adela, for instance.

I was actually thinking about doing a post about names. You wouldn't believe how long I dithered over naming my son.

[E]

Amen, Jamie. Share the road, y'all! :)

I'm having a mental block against girls names, but have a number of favs for boys. Asher being number one on the list. If any of my friends steal it before I get around to making some babies, I'll be pretty upset. I like Eli(jah) too..

Stella, I can see you with a Ben or Olivia. Those names are great!

[KellyK]

I'm really digging Charley and Olivia. You're so not alone here, by the way. I've always liked Madeline a lot, but my sister-in-law just named their daughter Madison, and that's a little too close. Is it strange that I only ever come up with girl names? I feel kind of bad for my future son and the neglect he's suffering now.

[vern of blog fame]

Stella, you know I am tiring of all this baby name stuff, which we play endlessly everytime we are together and The Boy nixes my best names, ALWAYS, like Lola Grace! All I have to say is SHOW ME THE BABY!

[Jules]

I always liked Mackenzie for a girl, or Hannah. I really like Mason for a boy, although I do know a female Mason.

Have a happy weekend!

[S]

We recently went on a field trip with my daughter's kindergarten class. (Virtual school, so this was one of the few times they met in person.) I swear every third girl was a some version of Mackenzie. I have a Makenna, and she was constantly being called Mackenzie. (Makenna is a way better name, if you ask me.) I also am liking Julia this morning. Also, Sawyer (but I watched Lost, which might explain that), Asher (reminds me of an Anne Rice character, though), Jackson (Jack), Patton, Riley, and Clancy are all swirling in my little brain. So is Parsnip, but I think that must be related to my (still fantasy) garden, not your (still fantasy) child's name. I hope. Oh, but what about Penelope, Piper, or Paxton? Nevermind. I am going for a walk to clear my head and avoid doing laundry.

[stella]

LOVE JACKSON. But its everywhere like Max...so lets not talk about it. it upsets me.

i didn't get any picture???

[S]

I just re-sent it. It'll come as an invitation to view my album thing. You should see my email address.

[d. Sharp]

It is a great idea to look at the social security information for the previous years, it is amazing how quickly a preschool class can be overrun with Emmas and Ellas within a matter of a few years.

For some reason, hearing really bad baby names {Torque} is always entertaining to me. I have more to say than I probably should on this subject.

Doesn't Asher seems ripe for an unfortunate nickname? Names that start with A were out for us as our boy's monograms would be ASS.

I am not usually fond of creative spelling of common names. Also first and last names of the same letter or kids in the family having names of the same letter or rhyming { I have known a Rory and Dory}

These are some fun babies I have met here in Portland, where there is a streak of creative naming:

Sabine
Gardener
Wheeler
Alder
Petal
Sawyer
August
Pascal
Enzo
Ezra

I think in my town if you want to be completely original you would have to name your kid Brian or Tim.

[andrea]

I love thinking about baby names! The front runner for us is Meredith. But for a boy, I like Julian and my husband is on the fence. Of course being pregnant would help.

I'm with you on the British names though.

Holy shit! $10,000!? Yikes.

[d. Sharp]

It is a great idea to look at the social security information for the previous years, it is amazing how quickly a preschool class can be overrun with Emmas and Ellas within a matter of a few years.

For some reason, hearing really bad baby names {Torque} is always entertaining to me. I have more to say than I probably should on this subject.

Doesn't Asher seems ripe for an unfortunate nickname? Names that start with A were out for us as our boy's monograms would be ASS.

I am not usually fond of creative spelling of common names. Also first and last names of the same letter or kids in the family having names of the same letter or rhyming { I have known a Rory and Dory}

These are some fun babies I have met here in Portland, where there is a streak of creative naming:

Sabine
Gardener
Wheeler
Alder
Petal
Sawyer
August
Pascal
Enzo
Ezra

I think in my town if you want to be completely original you would have to name your kid Brian or Tim.

[stella]

EUREKA D! I love love love SABINE! We'll see how well that one goes over when I get home tonight...

It reminds me...of course, of GRIFFIN AND SABINE - which..ironically, is another name we have tossed around.

You see - VERN is a GRIFFIN by marriage. We like Mr. Buck lots. He is swell. I think its a cute name for a GIRL.

Sabine...hmmm...love it.

My friend Julia almost named her GRAHAM - WITT...which I thought was VERY COOL. And makes me think of Witt from THE NOTEBOOK, and I loved The Notebook.

JESS - I agree. It should be Amelie or not. Even Vern turned her nose up when I started trying to come up with alternate spellings.

Too bad Lola AND Grace (we even pushed for LOLA GRACE) got vetoed by the boy. Would someone please use them. They are too cute.

s

[stella]

AND..

RUBY. I think a Ruby would be spunky, don't you? This was my grandmother's name. I love it. Zack doesn't.

Anyone imagine the GERTRUDE's, AGNUS's and the MARTHA's will ever return?

[S]

I had a Great Aunt named Ruby. I love that! I also hava a cat named Martha. It's actually Martha Dump-truck (Heathers). I don't recommend "Dump-truck" as a middle name. I also like Reagan, Pearce, and Winn. (Not Dixie) I don't like Charity, Chastity, Hope, or Hillary. (pst...what about Barack? ha ha ha!)

[juliag]

have you fucked around on babynamewizard yet? that site can suck hours out of your life. i LOVE it.

http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager

The associated blog has some great topics now and then too. All baby names, all the time. What could be more fun?!

[Wears Elastic Pants]

.... what about Brad Pitts?

[amy]

Whenever I've been pregnant, the names I picked out previously I didn't like. So weird. I named #1 Grace Amelia without looking at the SSA charts and now there are a trillion wee Graces out there. Poor thing. #2 has a unique name, which I'm reluctant to share anywhere for fear of it catching on. So sad. But I do love Danish Astronomers.

A fun place to explore names is the aforementioned name voyager.

Also here : http://www.nymbler.com/

I'd steer clear of boy names ending with N

Aaden
Caden
Jordan
Logan
Colin

etc... they are all the rage and end up sounding sooo the same.

We are on to naming #3 now and are down to
Teddy
Milo
Cohen (maiden name)
Neva
Lucie
Malie
Mamie

Good Luck!

[stella]

Oh I love Lucy (or Lucie).

Speaking of 'Peanuts'..how about Linus?

Nah.

And BRAD..hmmm. Brad PITTS! Oh I am on the floor WEP.

[S]

First, MILO!!!! What a truly awesome name.
Second, the crack-pot I married would skip over Ass Face and go directly to Epinephrine. Or possible Acetaminophen. Fortunately, we did NOT name our children either of those, and every time he busts those names out I laugh hysterically. Guess we are a good match.
Start the prenatal vitamins now, girl. If you are thinking these thoughts, the Universe hears them. Trust me. I know.

[Jessica, Julia's friend]

The only two girls names on our list for this baby are Charlotte and Simone, although husband won't play along until we go to the hospital. (I love the name Audrey but he doesn't. Meh).
I'm terrible with boys names. Seriously.
My picks this time 'round were:
Marden (I know. I'm weird).
Palmer
Spencer
Simon
and
Luca

[BOSSY]

Goldie Hawn has an Oliver, so named because of her pregnancy addiction to olives.

Just maybe try to avoid the trendiest boy's name ever at the moment: Jack. Bossy has three baby Jacks on her street.

And trendiest girls' names? Isabella, Grace. Bossy knows two families within a block who have both an Isabella AND Grace.

So the High Fidelity Charley was your first female Charlie, huh? Guess you're too young for the perfume, and its ridiculous advertising jungle that is still unfortunately lodged in Bossy's brain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5juK-UrgJG0

[BOSSY]

Did Bossy type "Jungle" when she meant "jingle"? Hehe.