A Fresh Look

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I offer you chickens today. 

Cancer

Most of the year goes by and I don't have to think about my father much.  Then June rolls around and I find myself silently weeping in the middle of the night thinking about him.  The messages, the words, the marketing of things 'fatherly' are everywhere, and they fire off flashes of the only memories my conscious will allow me to access since his death.  They are cancer - and they are so ugly.  I become consumed with the anguish and wonder of how it must have felt for him to experience the process of his body dying and to do so as the people he loved stood around watching helplessly.  Its been 4...5? years now.  And my sadness isn't that he is no longer here in the physical - my struggle is with the way his life came to its end.  To me, it's the pure definition of suffering - and it breaks me completely every time I go there.

Getting Pregnant

Who knew this could be so challenging.  I have been diligently 'charting' since February.  I've never been a huge fan of my period, but these days it feels more like cruel and unusual punishment.  And the "AF" keeps winning.  And will you people tell me who the hell came up with "BD"?  BABY DANCE?  Are you kidding me?  I really dislike all these cutesy names for these message boards.  How about just plain old "F"?  Short for FOOK.  Now thats what I call it.  Because really people, its not a dance.  And if it was, it'd be more like a rodeo.  It's a very short Par 3 begging for an Ace-in-the-Hole, and every month has been a Mulligan.  It may be time to bring Big Bertha out.  I'm not even trying to hear about no baby dance.

Shitty Drivers

How you gonna hop on the interstate with your little minivan during rush hour Atlanta traffic with your BRAKE LIGHTS BROKE?  Come. Onnnnnnnnnnn. Now!  And for future reference, could I have called and tipped the po-po on to something like this?  Would they do anything?  I was so tempted.  Thats just wrong.

Botox Alternatives

I've been asked about wrinkles! The following has caught my attention the last few days:

It's the Flex-Away System!  Like a headgear, but instead of for your toofs - for your DOUBLE CHIN!  Wish I'd known about this one before I got the sucker SUCKED.  Oh yes I did.  I think this would get in the way of all the rodeo action.  I mean, how sexy is that?

Or there's GFX.  This one is for people with my other issue.  Remember?  You too, can get your frown froze for just 3G's!

 

Lets talk CHEAPER and less paralyzing, shall we?

Anyone tried this one???  This guy is all up in the news.  I've tried a few fillers.  They have all sucked. 

Random Thoughts

I'm looking for a really nice used kayak, and I only want to pay $200 for it.  Oh, and I finally learned how to roll in the swimming pool a few weekends ago.  Yay me!

I've been getting Iced Vanilla Lattes with Whip EVERY MORNING M-F.  I know all the people on a first name basis.  They know me.  They don't even ask for my order.  And this mornings' was on the friggin HOUSE. 

A chicken biscuit with honey, is perfection.

Second only, to my first ever GRILLED peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich the other day.  Hoooo my god.

I'm getting ready to start Zacks Christmas present.  It's called Nairn and it's a pattern by Rowan.  I've never done Fair Isle before.  Hold me.  This is it on Nin's cutie patootie husband.  She's my Craft Fairy God Mother.  I love all things crafted and inspired by NIN.  (With one exception...The Dolls.  They totally freak me out).   Here's to hoping I don't melt while knitting it this summer.   

Winner of the Best Cracker of 2008 According to Stella award.  Holy crap, you have never in your life had a cracker this good.  I'm always trying different crackers out from the Farmers market.  I picked these up recently because they were on sale at Publix.  Run to the store.  These are the tastiest crackers I (and the husband) have ever had.

WTF?

Angelina on being pregnant is quoted:

"It's great for the sex life," the actress, who is expecting twins, told Entertainment Weekly. "It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you're just so round and full."

I say:  Really?  For real?