**Disclaimer: I had a relatively 'text book' labor and delivery. It was 14hrs roughly - and with no complications. I believe there are cases where medical intervention for mother and child is absolutely necessary. I am not here to tell you that every woman should be able to have a natural, un-medicated birth experience. But it is my belief that MOST are. Now, wanting that experience is an entirely different thing. And that is what I am going to talk about...
I think one of the greatest misconceptions people have about women who choose to have natural un-medicated births is this association with being some kind of narcissistic superhero. The other day I was getting coffee at a local shop where the barista is a sweet young girl who is expecting her first child and due any day now. I asked her if she had planned to do it drug-free - to which she laughed and replied "Oh no! I'm not trying to be some sort of super hero!".
A few days ago while watching TLC's A Baby Story (this has become my new daytime reality. sad. but true) - a woman who had intentions of going 'natural' decided at about 3cm when the pain was becoming too intense that she was no longer interested in her original plan. She asked her OB for the epidural and apologized to him (like he gave a shit). He patted her on the leg and said, "No one has to be a hero here today."
And I will admit, even I had shared this attitude before I became pregnant. I held the assumption that I would have an epidural because thats what people do. Why anyone would choose NOT to have pain relief for what is heralded as one of the most painful experiences in a woman's life - was absolutely asinine to me. You'd have to be a moron. A glutton for punishment. A narcissist. A freak. For the hippies! I'd say. Not me.
While I was taking all those chinese herbs and desperately trying to get pregnant that WHOLE YEAR (ack) - a co-worker of mine was studying to become a doula (my husband and I called these people 'doolers' - a spin off of the french word for PAIN) - if I didn't happen to really like this person, I'd have talked some shit behind her back about being a hippy. Oh wait. I talked shit to her face. Her cubicle shelves were full of books about natural childbirth and while I talked shit I was also incredibly curious. I'd thumb through the pages full of illustrations of YONI's and photographs of pelvic bones...and full on shots of crowning. They totally freaked me out. It was like all the missing manuals. The rated R stuff. The stuff left out of the What To Expect When You're Expecting! book.
Over the course of that year trying to get pregnant - I slowly read some of those books. At first thinking they were exactly what I expected them to be - for the hippies. The pioneers. The kinds of people who would squat a 10 pounder in the forrest. People who composte, and eat placenta. I had a hard time seeing myself in their stories - and thinking I could do that whole getting in tune with the power of my body thing. This coming from a person who struggles with even saying the word 'cervix', let alone getting acquainted with its characteristics.
It seemed like too great a stretch for me. The impossible. Like I would be a total poser even if I tried. Until something clicked in those pages...and it changed me.
I'm going to tell you about that. In part two. Later.
